Bed Talk

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Sometimes I'm wondering if Americans have any clue about how complicated their system of dressing a bed is. If you're scratching your head going "What is she talking about?", let me help you by taking a closer look to American vs  The World.

1. In the US beds and sheets come in sizes: Twin, Full, Queen, King and Cal-King (no idea why Jack and Ace got left out). Back where I'm coming from we just have at most 2 different sizes for sheets, and they would fit almost any bed you could find in the country. They are just Standard, so to say.

2. Pillows. In the USA they are rectangular, back home they are square. In America they have square pillows as well, but not for sleeping, they are mostly used as decorative pieces and often called "cushions".
But wait, it gets even more complicated when it comes to a "pillow cover". There are pillow cases that you are supposed to sleep on and shams, that are NOT supposed to be slept on, they are, again, for decorative purposes only and are often matching the duvet cover or comforters, which we'll talk about next.

Now if you think about it, in order to NOT be sleeping on shams, you should either have two sets of pillows on your bed, or you should put a sham on and off every morning/night. Sounds like a little too much work to me...

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3. Duvets and Comforters. I'll be honest, to this day I'm trying to figure out why it has to be so complicated. Ok, so the comforter is basically a blanket that you also use as a bed cover. This is where a flat sheet comes into play, when you use it as a bedding, laying between your body and a comforter. Duvets. They are beddings and blankets in one. It is basically a comforter, but much thinner and stuffed with feathers and it comes with a pocket inside, so that you can put in an extra blanket if you'd like.

If you ever wanted to know how we do it European style, I'd tell you that we only have one type of blanket, that is called exactly so, it can be stuffed with polyester, cotton or feathers, and it would still be called "A Blanket". It doesn't have to look pretty because it's dressed in what you call "a quilt", which is not. It is more like your duvet, a simple cotton cover with a pocket inside, but with no additional stuffing. Think of a giant pillowcase for a blanket. That's how we do it!

4.  Flat sheet vs Fitted sheet. I'm telling you, there's hardly any foreigner who came to the USA for the first time and didn't have a question "What is a fitted sheet and what do I do with it?" I'm glad at my first job as a housekeeper they taught me all about it, otherwise I'd have to ask people at Target to give me a crush-course or something... Oh, and when it comes to folding it, it's a whole other story! I' glad I found this video at Martha Stuart YouTube channel. It seriously made my life easier. Watch it if you haven't. You'll be forever grateful for Martha Stuart.

How does the rest of the world live without fitted sheets, you ask? Easy, we just use your "flat sheets" to cover a mattress, tucking the ends under it. Takes you about 1 minute, no kidding.

I'm not even starting on all those roll pillows, bed skirts etc. If you follow all the rules of bedding and use every single item in your bedding habits, your bed will end up looking like this:

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Seriously, people, how can you enjoy a bed like this unless you are a member of a royal family?

It Blows me Away

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Before I begin to mumble on this matter I have to add a disclaimer that I will be speaking for the places I've been to. They are South Carolina, Florida and New York in summer time, and California all-year round.

The love for air conditioner in all those states (and something tells me it is pretty much like that in the rest of the states, but that's just my guess...) has no limit. People wouldn't rent an apartment and would not even consider buying a car if the AC is not functioning well. As much as I hate the stuffiness and unbearable heat, the use of AC sometimes turns into abuse.

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Here are some places where I wish people took it easy on the air conditioner:

Greyhound Bus. Did you ever have to spend a night on a bus? I did/ It was a torture. I was freezing to my bones and the driver refused to turn it up because "it was above the standard temperature". No word on who sets those "standards"...

Beer/Dairy Isles in Grocery Stores. Seriously, I can never concentrate on finding the product I need. I just grab whatever catches my eye and run away to the bread isle. It's so much warmer there.

Most Office Spaces. A lot of people happen to spend 40 hours a week sitting in a chair under a blowing vent. I happen to be one of those people. I hate it. Again, there are "standards" that do not allow to set a temperature a little bit higher and it is against the rules to seal the vents with tape (we've tried and got a warning". Cozy sweaters and cover-ups have become my best friends at work.

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I guess it all depends on the personal metabolism and body sensitivity. But looking at peeps that wear short-sleeved tops and flippy-floppies in at a 50 Fahrenheit temperature gives me chills. Literally.

Whatta Hef?...

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I noticed that in many houses people aren't used to taking their shoes off. It always surprises me how careful people here are about disinfecting all the counters and surfaces, covering toilet seats and washing+sanitizing their hands over and over throughout the day. However, they can and actually do walk around the house in their street shoes, sitting or even laying down on couches (regardless of the color).

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Slippers are used just as a fun a cozy accessory to fancy up while at home, especially for females. I can hardly remember any male having his own home shoes, except for Hugh Hefner (hence the title of the post), of course! :)

I remember being back home and watching Hollywood movies, constantly mocking the scenes where the actors were in their shoes lounging on a white sofa. Turned out, that's exactly what's happening in real life here. But again, may be it's just the houses I've visited and may be it's because it's California and it's always sunny here and people barely walk on the streets, spending most of their time out driving their cars so their feet don't get covered with dust, mud and all kinds of other dirt as much. Or may be it's just the common rule that seems totally normal to folks here and seems so careless and "not-making-any-sense" for me, a foreigner lost among millions in the City of Angels.

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Traffic fines are no joke

Yes, and I've got the proof.

I recently received this letter with a ticket for $479 US Dollars for "Failure to Stop at Red Light". I was angry and surprised and disappointed and had many other mixed emotions at once. I'll guess I'll have to break my Piggy Bank early to pay for my mistakes...

What a good lesson to learn not to mess with the rules in the states, especially on the road. The karma/camera will catch you.

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Can You Buy a Cow Online?...

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In America, you probably can :)
Is there anything you can NOT do online? Really, from checking in for the flight to checking out books at the library. From paying you bills to adopting a puppy. Need to make or cancel an appointment? No problem. As long as you have internet access, you're covered for most of the everyday life scenarios.

I'm not even mentioning online classes available at each campus. Who am I kidding? You can even earn a degree without leaving your couch. Which is pretty awesome, to say the least.

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I get it, there are certain concerns and compromises involved. At the end of the day, there's a price for everything. In this case, the price is giving up some amount of privacy and security. How do I know noone is going to hack my account and use my personal information? Well, you don't... You just have to accept it and be at peace with it. And tr not to think about it. At least not until it happens (heavens forbid)

We also become chronically lazy by getting used to having nearly unlimited control under our fingertips. With that comes annoyance, like "What do you mean I can't do it online???" And also total dependence on it, almost like addition, internet-ism of sorts. But what if (heavens forbid again) there's no internet connection? Just imagine one day of a global internet blackout. Sounds like Apocalypse,  doesn't it? But that's another story.

For now I'm enjoying my honeymoon with online addiction. It brings a little wicked smile to my face every time I find out what else I can do online. Like listen to the astronauts on the space station? Not sure why I might need it, but I think it's pretty amazing.

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My Christmas Tree

I must be the last person in America to be still decorating my Christmas Tree. It's not because I'm a procrastinator (I might be, but not in this case). It was part of my plan from the beginning and I've got an explanation for it: I am Christian Orthodox and my Christmas is not until January 7th. Is that weird? We celebrate the same occasion - Jesus being born - but on two different days, two weeks apart. 

For this reason, the New Year's is the first day that starts my holiday season and I ought to have a New Year Tree (yep, that's how we call it) by December 31st and I want it to stay for at least 2 weeks, that's why I never put it up until at least a week before the New Years. This actually came convenient for me, because by the time I went trees and ornaments shopping, they were already discounted! Yay for saving some very much needed cash :)

So here's my first Christmas tree ever (in the states!). And may I just say - I'm in love...

Here it goes, red color accent

And some yellow color caption

I love origami and folded a couple of cranes for good luck in the next year which made a nice addition to the store-bought collection of ornaments

See that yellow pretty baby ornament? That was DIY'ed by me. Just used a clear ornament from Michaels,  added some yellow acrylic paint inside, swirled it around and let it dry for a couple of weeks. I made a small collection of those (6 to be exact) and they all live and love in on my tree!

I didn't find a topper that would please my taste and suit my budget, and figured to throw some hand-made pieces on in. This pink ribbon was one of them.

And here's another topper - my two-colored origami star covered with glitter

And another crane. Yellow covered with black dust-glitter

ps Oh, and I was surprised at how beautiful and fluffy and soft all the trees I looked at were. Unlike where I am from, they are not nearly as fairy-tale-ish perfect, so people end up having to choose somewhat pretty tree out of the all sad looking ones.

A word about INDENTATION

I know, I know, it almost sounds like I'm cursing :) Just thought I'd share another lesson in English that I learned.

Indentation is technically the punctuation rule which requires to indent where there is change in a thought. In the states, however, using an indent to indicate where the new paragraph starts is not so common. Leaving a line space between paragraphs is used instead.

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Adjusting to the new punctuation rules took me a minute, but I'm kinda liking it now even more than the "correct" way.

And for the demonstration purposes, here's how the all written above would look if I indent the first lines of new paragraphs:

As my mom likes to say: "Learn as you live".